Pensive mood today

So last night, I stayed up reading over my past entries.
My brother woke me up with a call at 1am. Immediately, my heart starts to race because I expect him to tell me that he's in trouble or a car accident. He just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving. @ 1 am. The day after.

Usually, I get quite a kick out of being prompted to remember my little "emo" moments and ridiculous and fleeting interests but this time, I was kind of turned off. So much so, I took down the link to this blog from my facebook.

Despite all the holiday cheer I've been feeling as I listen to KOST 103.5 (you're a Grinch if 10 minutes of listening to this station does not cheer you up), I feel really critical right now.

I feel really picky, materialistic, spoiled and far far away from my faith, God and church. I think I'm just beginning to understand how becoming an adult, the decisions you are forced to make, the more worldly life you're expected to live start to hinder your relationship with God. No, they're not mutually exclusive but they're not complements either. Rightfully so...

I'm probably thinking too much but sometimes you have to! Or you get lost or time flies by so quickly so you get stuck because it's just fast and crazy like that!

I realized that this past year, my mind has been distracted with useless sh#t. My future, Boys, Things.
No, they're not useless but fretting over them is.

Time to regroup. (But man....I thought I did this in India.)